Waking up is not the easiest thing to do all the time and we do it every morning; doesn’t practice make perfect? Sometimes you have to fight to get up. Other times when you think you are up you wake to find yourself asleep.
This morning was a struggle for me. I fought with myself;
“Do you really want to get up?” I responded, “No!”
“Do you really want to go to work?” and again my answer was “No!”
I got up at 7:02 this morning. My alarm is set for 6:45. I don’t remember hearing it. Could it be that I chose not to hear it? Or did I hear it and chose not to respond? Whichever the answer, the alarm went off because it was set. There was nothing I could’ve done to stop it. It doesn’t sense that I am not in the mood to get up and then not go off. It only knows to do its job.
After getting up I wondered to myself why I was so lazy to get up. I anticipated today to be a great day. I would see my awesomely-crazy co-workers that I missed yesterday because I was ill. I would have carried out job functions that give me life every morning. So why was it so hard?
Maybe it was a mood swing. Have you ever not been in the mood for anything? I mean have you ever been seriously not in the mood? Not in the mood to work, not in the mood to smile, not in the mood to drive, shop and do any other thing you may like, maybe even sex? Not in the mood for encouragement or pep talks, just wanting to wallow in pain, guilt and sorrow. I know those mood swings.
Today I was just not in the mood. At least not until my day actually started. Let’s not embrace our mood swings. Let’s just swing against them see if anything changes. Usually they do, we just need to row upstream in our canoe. Maybe you are not in the mood to take my advice but your alarm clock doesn’t care. The time may pass and then….
From Nico’s Eyes