It is always amusing to watch or listen to people misjudge you. They spy secretly into your lives to find every loop hole to support what their minds tell them is true; and if they believe they have found something to support their claim they jump out at you with as many questions as possible hoping that you would get flustered and mess up and yield to their accusations. Someone said to me last night that no logical human being is judgmental and the third person in the conversation-a philosophy student- added that we need a bit of judgment to survive, but we shouldn’t judge others unreasonably.
I won’t say that I am not judgmental because sometimes I am. I read once that every human being judges another person in the first 5 secs of seeing them. We were taught that. We learned to check other people out in order to not only protect ourselves but to also decide how to deal or react to them. I wouldn’t want to mess with a guy dressed as a thug who may be carrying a gun and isn’t afraid to use it. Neither would I want to approach a seemingly strict or uptight teacher in a relaxed or informal way so as to offend him.
Often times though, after interacting with the thug you find he studies at university and doesn’t carry a firearm, he’s actually pretty bright too and a shortlisted Rhodes scholar, and that teacher, she is the most relaxed person when you get to know her, she even hates being called ‘miss’ and prefers Carol. What am I saying? Judge with caution, don’t overdo it. Put the tip of your toes in the water first and check if it is cold or not instead of not jumping in. There must be due caution but don’t write a person off as something they are not when you have not tried getting to know them
Now, there are people who may have known you for years and still have questions about you. They interact with you often enough just to figure you out. They hang out with you, not because you are great company but because of the urge in their minds that they need to satisfy. What is that urge? The urge to judge and then say “I knew it all along!” They are the ones who every now and again would ask you pointed questions just to get you flustered so your tongue could slip, they are the ones who pry and like to put you on the spot so you could tell them your “dirty little secret” as if they don’t have one that they would never share. They pretend to be non-judgmental when in fact they are the guiltiest. They are the ones who you hardly trust but in their minds you have absolutely no reason not to. They are emotionally unintelligent and always make scathing remarks.
They would have been the first to notice that you made this blog post and come ask you if it was in reference to them (it is but you know to tell them noJ). They are constantly lurking on your Whatsapp, Facebook and IG waiting for the evidence of what they think is fact. However, you are always one step ahead of them and they can never keep up, if only they were as smart as you J. The thing is they think you don’t realize their cruel intentions and so you allow them enough rope so they may hang themselves. You watch them starve of the answers they are desperately seeking and you cantor by them with your nose pointed to the sky, they could die for all you care.
My question to them is….if it were true and I wanted you to know wouldn’t I have told you? Perhaps you are just not a good enough friend for me to confide in hence why you don’t know that I really do sell drugs to the Members of Parliament and The Upper middle class. That is why I dress so well and have to be well spoken and mannered. Also, our other friends know this but they would never have told you because they are not like you.
The lives of these judgmental accusers are always falling apart though and they pretend not to notice hence why much more of their time is spent in yours.
After they see this they will come and ask you what it meant, what were you trying to say and you don’t need to answer. Because not because the teacher looks strict means she is; not because the guys appears to be dressed like thugs mean they are; not because the girl is fat means she does nothing about it; not because that girl got pregnant right after high school means she has no ambition; not because the boy likes pink means he’s gay; not because she climbs trees means she is a lesbian; not because it looks like a coming out story means it is; not because it appears to be an angel of light means it is not Satan and not because the girl is almost mid thirties and unmarried means she will never get married (wait it could)…. there I go again being judgmental.
Why can’t someone or something just appear a certain way but not be that way? Get to really know a person and then they’ll tell you. J
From Nico’s Eyes